Friday, April 25, 2014

The American Consumer, Part Eins - Cell Phones



WARNING:  The reading of this post may cause diarrhea, difficulty in breathing, violent convulsions, and, quite possibly, death.  Yes, it's another one of those hour long posts.  Best saved for times such as the-hour-long-lunch...the weekend, that sorta thing.  I'm really sorry America, some days it's just like that, right?  This particular subject may run into more parts...I'm not sure.  One thing I will guarantee, is that I promise you'll be the 2nd to know about it.

"Ah.  What's that?  New cell phone, eh?  What is that, a Samsung Galaxy S LXIX you got there??  Wow, who would have thought that the number would ever get that high, especially in just 5 short years.  Yeah, I remember back in 2011 when the Galaxy S I came out.  And it DOES have the kitchen sink included with it as well?? Well, I can't say as I'm surprised."

It would seem that the cell phone industry has not only caught up with the Flat Panel TV and Laptop/Pad industry, but passed it running at full speed.  "The Next Big Thing" slogan, which can be heard (and seen as well) as Samsung announces each of their newest phone generations as they appear on the market, would seem like it's being said about every other month these days.  This of course refers to their big seller, the Galaxy S, their entry for an Android competitor to the Apple iPhone.  You just get done plunking down $500-$800 for a new one, and a month later they're already talking about the next one.  The T-Mobile Sidekick, which was the iPhone of the 00's, at least waited two years before re-issuing as a new model.  The new Galaxy S models seem to come out just about the time you're either just done recovering the money back into your bank account that you spent on the last one, or about the time you finally get the older one figured out and are completely comfortable with it.  It also seems to always coincide with the time period directly following your purchase of the very last accessory you need for it (case, home charger, car charger, screen protectors, charger cords for your computer, etc.).

What really irritates me though, is that, even though the industry races along at 4G speed and beyond (noting the expiration time period of the other G speeds we've experienced in our pasts, shouldn't we be at 5 or 6G speeds by now?), the contracts and service that go along with them are either the same or a hell of a lot worse.  And not only do the 4 major cellphone companies still pretty much pull the exact same crap on you as they used to back when they first became a necessary evil, when selling them to you, it doesn't give me a lot of hope.

What takes away even more hope is the fact that we still haven't quite come to the logical conclusion, as yet, that cell phones were, back at their inception, right up to this very day, a luxury item.  They cost about 10 times more legs and arms than they used to even, and still we clunk around in the dark for the money to get them, like we don't have a clue what's happening.

I imagine, oft times, a mental picture of the head of household plowing through the door to his home and, after announcing that Samsung is coming out with the new Galaxy S VI in a couple days, and, since they've only served 6 months of their 2 yr. contract sentence and aren't eligible for an upgrade, they have to pay cash for them.  And, when they realize that they don't really have the $2400 handy to pay for new phones for him, the wife and his 2 daughters, he brings out the "sign here in blood" contracts that require that each member of his family give up his/her soul to be able to get them, so they can keep pace with the rest of the world.  Why do you think that the price of your service has dipped to almost nothing these days?  It's because you more than make up for it when you buy the phones at today's outlandish prices.  You have to practically take out a small loan!  $2400 is pertineer a down-payment on a car, for chrissakes.  A good laptop or pad is oodles cheaper!!

Cell phone companies, along with the cells they sell, have always been ridiculous on their contract service rates and service.  Sprint, the first ones to ever upset me on a massive scale, will never again see me darken their doorway after I got what would be my first contract phone ever, nearly 11 years ago.

Ah yes, I remember it well. 'Twas a winter's day, February 2003, and I was the proud owner of a cell phone, finally.  Sprint was running this great promo, where people with not so wonderful credit were given a cell phone, on contract, with a $125 deposit (this was kind of a fore-runner for pre-paid service, I'm thinking) for a certain amount (I can't even remember what it was...that's how long it was before I ever got on contract again), and as long as the bill remained under $125 a month, your service was safe.  In other words, as long as your bill never went over $125 a month, your service didn't get immediately shut off...which, by the way, happened 5 times in a week's time before I called them and told 'em exactly what they could do - with their contracts, with their phones AND with their crappy service.  This was, of course, long before text messaging would be unlimited, or even a gleam in the eye of the phone company.  Matter of fact, if I remember right, I didn't know anything about text messaging back then, and if I did, I wouldn't have had any idea who else in the world would have had such a similar service that I could have texted.  Nor do I believe, even if I had, that I would have even tried to text them.  "Why" I'm sure I said back then, "would I ever text anyone, especially if I could just call them???"  Funny how things change so very much in a decade.  I don't think I've ever typed so much on so many different things...well, EVER.  Even when I did it for a living.

Sorry...back to the story.  I had it for barely a week, and the phone went dead.  This was, of course, back in the day when plans were pretty ridiculous as far as how many minutes you received, as opposed to how much you were paying.  I think I was on a plan with around 450 anytime minutes, and your evenings and weekends were free.  Cell phones were, of course, still very much a luxury back then.  Ownership was still pretty much a new thing.  In 2003, somewhere around 148 million people had cell phones in the world, which, if you think about it, really wasn't a whole lot of owners.  Now, ownership levels are at around 82%, and 97% for people under 44.  I would have to say however, that of that 97%, I'll bet a good portion AREN'T on contract anymore, and for good reason too.

Moving RIGHT along, I called customer service immediately.  Remember, this was also before the days of 611, so I had to look up the number in the phone book and call them.  If I recall right, my problems with Sprint were rather numerous.  Though not necessarily in this order, I had all of these conversations with them, concerning these problems:  minutes used, information calls, data time use, extra charges and apps I supposedly "signed up for."  I probably had to call customer service just about every time I got a bill to get rid of just about every app I ever tried to use on the older style wireless phones.   After getting my phone service disconnected 5 times in a week, with five subsequent customer service calls to follow each one, I quickly tossed that wonderful Sprint phone in the nearest garbage can after conversation five, and swore that I would never again own a cell phone.  Needless to say, I had no idea that they would become an additional organ on your body in the coming decade.

A couple of years later, I finally gave in, and bought another cell phone.  I went with PrimeCo, an outfit I ran into during my time in Madison Wisconsin.  They were wonderful.  I was in Cell Phone Nirvana.  Then, my other #2 arch-enemy, Verizon, bought them out.  I had already, prior to that, experienced Verizon's wonderful land line service, and was none too happy with the takeover.  Verizon, needless to say, brought a few new ideas (and a higher price) to the table that I didn't rightly care for.  So, their phone, not unlike Sprint's, found its permanent resting place in the garbage as well.  Again, I swore buying a cell phone again would probably be a while off for me.

Not nearly so long as between Sprint and PrimeCo, I once again thought about getting yet another cell phone.  Owning one by this time was very nearly a "necessity" (maybe it's just people my age or older...but is it, or has it ever really been this?), only this time, it was the lure of the "Pre-Paid" Cell phone that brought me back around to it...no, I had most certainly learned my lesson with contract phones.  I bought my first pre-paid phone with AT&T, their "Go Phone".  I had that phone a very long time.  I loved it....and I should have stuck with it too.  I'd still have one of the easiest phone numbers I've ever had.  I noted another company that sported an amount that was considerably less than what I was paying, with a heck of a lot more minutes.  It was then that I became an official Virgin user and dedicated fan.  Little did I know that my #1 arch-nemesis in the cell phone world, the company I swore I would never go back to, Sprint, was the owner of Virgin Mobile.  Had I known that, I would have never even looked at the box.

Around the time that I found out that Sprint owned Virgin....at which time I more or less shrugged my shoulders and said "really?  wow!" and kept on talking like I'd never heard the words, they did me wrong, and I decided I was once again going to go elsewhere.  Prior to that, if I had found out that Hitler owned the company, you would have had to rip the Virgin phone out of my cold dead hands.  There was no way I was giving it up.  This would not, however, be the last cell phone company I would ever lie with, thanks to the invention of the smartphone.

Oh, don't get me wrong.  I tried my hardest to resist.  Had Virgin not finally made me mad enough to give them up once, I would still be on one to this day.  Not quite seeing the need for such an expensive phone at that time, I scouted around for a nice compromise...something between smartphone and flip...and ended up with one of those phones that was an MP3 player, had key driven menu items...and yet wasn't too expensive, one of Samsung's first phones.  It was also pre-paid, and belonged to Verizon Wireless, a company I swore I'd never go back to as well, after the PrimeCo incident.  It didn't take me long to remember why.  I think I might have had that phone for a grand total of 2 months before I was looking to go elsewhere.  I gave them up because they wanted me to pay to access my e-mail.

I ended up with T-mobile.  This time, I was talked into going with their contract service.  I might want to add here, that even though I didn't stick with them long, it wasn't because of their service.  No, it was because I had been on pre-paid for so long and was so dead-set against contracts that I chose the path I did.  I dumped 'em because of the cost for the most part.  Why should I spend $100 a line, with limited data, when there were prepaid phones out there at $45 a month with unlimited everything??  I stuck with the company, I just dumped the contract.  Why I continue to fall for sales pitches for contract is beyond me.  It's usually the phone that sucks me in, it's never anything else, that's for sure.

Funny thing enough, if you just save your money up to buy a super good pre-paid phone ahead of time, you don't NEED A CONTRACT.  Oh sure, if you're a family of 4 or more people, then contract phones are the way to go.  2 or less?  No way people.  When two are both on prepaid, you could, feasibly, get a month's service...for both lines, mind you...for as little as $70 now.  Yes, that was indeed SEVENTY DOLLARINOS.  The most in extra charges?  Tax on SEVENTY DOLLARS.  And that seriously covers EVERYTHING.  Unlimited minutes, unlimited data, unlimited messaging.  And Boost Mobile?  Even includes free directory assistance.  I guarantee that, if you're 2 or less people?  You're paying an average of around $100 on contract.  Per person.  Check into it.  Why the world isn't on prepaid is still a mystery to me.  Usually, I believe it's due to the fact that no one wants to dish out $500 for a phone before they even get the phone turned on.  You just don't understand!!  You're still paying for the same phone people, you're just paying for it in other ways.  Trust me, you're still dishing it out, just not all at once.  Here's a suggestion.  Start saving for that phone now, while you're on contract.  Then when it runs out, buy that Galaxy S4.  Sure, you'll pay $600 dollars for it.  But think about all that money you'll save not being on a contract.  And if you don't like the service??  You just let your month of service run out, sell the phone, and go with another one.  Why doesn't everyone already do this????  Hard to say.  Good salespeople.

Right.  Lying little salespeople.  U.S. Cellular was the next to trap me.  Oh, this is one of my favorites, to be sure.  Normally, when I signed a contract, I had a month's service, easy, before I received a first bill.  Then I usually had around 2 to 3 weeks to pay it.  I signed with them, and they told me exactly what my first bill would be, somewhere around $300.  What they DIDN'T tell me was that I would get that bill in around a week, and only have 2 more weeks to pay it.  Those went to the garbage pile REAL quick.

Then finally, we have the one that's about to go the way of all of my other contract phones.  AT&T.  When I bought into their plan, told me that I could have 2 lines of service for $200 a month.  The phones were "free", as usual (meaning I would be paying for it other ways...this, of course, was a given).  What they didn't tell me was, that my first bill, which of course is usually always higher, would be about S320, and would also be given to me about 2 weeks into my service and be due in another 2 weeks.  Funny how this always seems to slip their minds.  Oh, but AT&T decided to take my pain one step further.  You see, I knew this might happen, sure, but when I signed up....and the ENTIRE reason I even went for it...was because they told me I would receive a $100 credit for each line.  3 in all.  That's $300.  Wow.  I signed.  Bet you have no idea what happened next.

Well, you guessed it.  I got the bill.  I didn't even look at it.  Why bother?  I had $300 in credits, I don't owe anything.  Matter of fact, I was POSITIVE I didn't.  This was because AT&T had been airing a commercial that said you could get 4 lines of service with unlimited calls and messages (like I had), and 10GB of data (like I had), for $160 a month (mine was sold to me at $200).  What they have in small print on the commercial is (evidently...I've yet to see this) is that you have to be a current customer to get that deal.  Huh?  So anyway, I called and complained about it, and they pacified me with yet another $100 credit.  Nice.  Then I get, two weeks later, a letter stating that I now have a current bill for the amount of $520, and that, if I don't pay $220 in 3 days, that my phone service will be terminated.  WHAT???

I looked on the web at my account, and discovered that we had, by five days, passed another billing period (funny how every time I sign up for a contract of late, the billing period is always 3 days away), so that was fine.  But what of the $300 in credits I was to receive?  I called them up, and discovered that our $300 in credits per line of service wouldn't show on our account until the 4th billing period.  Funny how they sorta forgot to tell us about that one.  When I mentioned that to the customer service rep I talked to about that?  Their oh-so-obviously adopted response is now "But it was in the contract you signed, didn't you see that?".  Oh sure, I should know that by now.  But really?  My response to that is "IT'S THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE SALES REP TO SELL EVERYTHING AS REPRESENTED BEFORE I SIGN".  As a matter of fact, I remember, expressly, saying these words, right in the face of the smiling representative holding the pen I was to use:  "Hey...no big deal, I'll go for the insurance!  It's not like I'm going to owe a bill the first month!"  Did they say a word?  Nope.  They continued to smile during my entire signature.

As I will smile during every 1-800 collection agency call I get after I let the service run its course, and the phones are disconnected.

Now here's the thing that really bothers me the most.  Landline service is dirt cheap now.  It was more expensive, sure, when it was active...but it was nowhere near what we're paying now for cell service.  So why did we move to cell phone service again?  Believe me, I'm looking very hard at reviving my land-line.  The novel convenience of being able to take my phone with me and to make and receive phone calls wherever I go?  Not nearly as novel now, mostly because a.) I just realized that I'm getting about as many calls and messages that only serve to annoy me (i.e., companies in my email and on the web that I was forced to enter a phone number for, etc.) as I used to get on my land line, and b.) because where I used to be able to just ignore people I didn't want to talk to, I can't do that anymore.  Now they blow up my phone because they KNOW I take it everywhere.  At $9.99 - $14.99, it might just be my next move.  Unless of course, they ban all land-lines...it's in the works, from what I'm hearing.  :(


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