The NEW Whole Ball O' Wax (A Continual Post)

https://sttwcollegeyears.wordpress.com/2009/09/27/the-whole-ball-of-wax/

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This is yet another continued post.  New sections will be added to this post every day.  Please come back every day you can to read more.  If you don't come back (or don't come at all in the first place), you had best believe I will put in the extra effort to force it down your throats   :D

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All right people, it's time to poke the beast, and poke it well.

INTRODUCTION TO THE (NEW) BALL

Welcome to the NEW Whole Ball O' Wax, where we rip into all the issues we had in the OLD "Ball O' Wax", found here:

http://themightyswordamericasdeadlysins.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-whole-ball-o-wax-continued-post.html

By the by, my name is no longer Christopher William Bruce, I don't give two hoots what the state of Iowa, California, or any other state or the Government says.  My name is Christopher the Living Man, or any other name I damn well feel like calling myself...today, tomale, or any other day.

First, a few things that should be made very clear:  I am not a "sovereign citizen", a group of people that the Des Moines register tried to label me in with.  A sovereign citizen is an oxy-moron...sovereigns and citizens are two entirely different groups of people.  You are a citizen.  I am sovereign.  End of story...nice try, no cigar, ain't happenin'.  I am a sovereign or state citizen.  I reside in Iowa.  I am not a U.S. citizen any longer.  Each and every Native American is a sovereign.  Everyone born between 1789 and 1864 was a "sovereign" national.  This isn't some new faction of "domestic terrorist" my friends, sovereigns are worldwide, and have been around an awfully long time, as has the idea.  This is what our founding fathers had in mind for us....self-government, or government by the people; not government by tyranny or fear.

Second, I am not "anti-government", I am anti-tyranny.

Third, I am not a "law-breaker", nor do I consider myself above the law, or not in need of obeying what the state, county, city and federal government has laid down as "The Law".  I am, however, most certainly against our current and massively outdated and corrupt system of "law", as well as the judiciary that has put itself over us to enforce this "law".  I am also against the obvious monetizing of this legal system.  If you don't have the cash, there's no way to win.

That being said, it's time for the thoughtful and self-examination portion of our show.  I'd like for my readers to take a moment to ask yourselves some fairly simple questions.  These are not difficult to ask, but for some of you, they will be difficult to answer.  Most certain, however, is that your answers may be very difficult for you to accept; especially if it's a question that you've been conditioned to answer a certain way your entire life; and if you're being totally honest with yourself when answering them.

UNALIENABLE RIGHTS

Before we get started, however, I would like to discuss something with you that I believe we are very uneducated about;  your unalienable rights.  What this phrase means to our formerly free county is lost on the majority of U.S. Citizens, and you can firmly trust that this is very much by design.

So what is an an unalienable right?

It's been said that these rights have been known to be some of these;  Freedom of speech and religion, life, liberty, the pursuit, etc.  The commonly known list has been shortened for most; and is all but forgotten or unknown for the rest (and sure as Hell isn't being taught you, either, you'll notice).  Let's take a moment to list the majority of these rights.  Our forefathers' list may just need a bit of tweaking;

1.  The right to live and breath (exist)
2.  The right to reproduce
3.  The right to parent
4.  The right to move or travel
5.  The right to speak...period.
6.  The right to feel.
7.  The right to choose
8.  The right to have
9.  The right to create and destroy.
10.  The right to believe.

What is an unalienable right, then?  It's something you can do without interference...whether by another person, or by a ruling faction.

THE QUESTIONS

Now that you're a little better informed, let's move along to those questions, hmmm?

1.  Do you believe that you need a birth certificate or a "court of law" to tell you who you are?  Why?

2.  Do you feel the Government needs to be told that you married someone (or intend to marry someone) or that you had a child?  Why?

3.  Do you need permission to cross the street?  To mow your own lawn?  To go around the block?  To take a bus to the other side of town?  To ride a bike over to your friend's house?  So why is it that you need a license to drive a big hunk o' metal?

4.  Why do you think you need to have an I.D. to purchase wine or beer, or to get a bottle of either with dinner?  Isn't drinking or smoking a personal choice?  Shouldn't it be?  Didn't it used to be (The answers to those last two questions, by the way, are a resounding YES)?

5.  Do you believe the Government really needs to be involved with your life in order to make a purchase of a weapon, just because a few people got guns (that they could have gotten illegally anyway, and probably did) from someone and shot someone else?  Do you really believe that just because the Government requires you to not be a felon or to register to get a gun really stops criminals from using them or from shooting you?

6.  Do you think it's right that police officers are allowed to search you, your car, your house or your property at any time, with or without a warrant?

7.  Don't you believe that you should be able to communicate whatever you want to, to whoever you want to?  If not...WHY not?  Isn't it feasible, that as you have the freedom to speak, you also have an equal freedom to listen to what I'm speaking about freely...or not?

8.  Do you feel that it's right that you not only have to pay local, county, state and federal taxes that are supposed to cover most of the expenses of that Government, but also a tax on the money you work hard to make, as much as 50 percent?  How about having to pay for things that should be optional to be taken out of your checks; such has Unemployment "Insurance" (that can be denied you, depending on the circumstances) or Medicaid or Social Security that you may never need or live long enough to collect?

9.  Do you think it's right for you to have to continue to pay taxes on a car or a home that you've completely paid off, or lose them for the amount of taxes that you owe or weren't able to pay?

10.  Do you believe that you really have the say-so concerning who is to become our next President or Vice-President?  Would you be shocked to know that you haven't had a say so since 1787?

Now that you've answered these questions for yourself, let's dig into the questions some more, and, maybe with better explanations, you'll change your mind on some of those answers...

BIRTH CERTIFICATES AND IDENTITY

Birth Certificates weren't required until 1902.  In the United States, it's been made apparent that birth certificates are needed for these reasons, according to Wikipedia:

"Birth registration opens the door to rights to children and adults which many other human beings take for granted: to prove their age; to prove their nationality; to receive healthcare; to go to school; to take exams; to be adopted; to protection from under-age military service or conscription; to marry; to open a bank account; to hold a driving licence; to obtain a passport; to inherit money or property; and to vote or stand for elected office."

Now, we can, of course, tear a lot of this apart.  For one, who cares about proving your age?  I myself don't give a rat's behind who knows my age, nor do I myself care how old I am.  Most of the time, I don't want to know how eld I am.  As for proving my nationality, I can just tell you that.  I don't need a Government paper to tell me that.  To receive healthcare...oh, you mean Obama Care, or the previous choice, the choice to pay thousands of dollars for healthcare that's shit?  No thank you.  To go to school...oh, you must mean public Government school, where, if you don't learn, they just push you through.  I'll take home schooling Alex.  To take exams....REALLY?  Maybe I don't wanna take any of your stupid exams....thanks.  To marry....I can do that without you, I promise.  To open a bank account, so that I can be charged for having one, and incur no real interest, and put in money that you're someday going to cheat me out of, because the bank goes south?  I don't think so.  To hold a driver's license...that I don't need, according to the UCC.  Only commercial drivers are required to have them.  To obtain a passport - so you can track me everywhere I go.  To inherit money or property...and that happens to the majority of Americans how often??  To vote...well, you know my thoughts on that.  Our vote doesn't count for shit...you and I both know it.  If you don't, you damn well should.

Folks, you don't need, nor do you want a Birth Certificate.  A Birth Certificate is immediately monetized, and you are traded on the open market, and used as collateral to float loans from international bankers.  This is the Government's way of making sure you produce maximum profits, via your taxes, for your country and your home state, and is primarily used to make the United States money.  Try and get your ORIGINAL birth certificate.  Bet you can't get it anymore.  From what I understand, your original is locked in a vault in the United States treasury.  'Magine that.  Just like registering your car and titling your land, this is simply a source of revenue for the United States Government.

Your birth certificate is simply a way for the Government to keep track of you, and is not needed.  This is the paper you, and gives the Government a way to start a foreign situs trust in your name, and allows them to file charges against you in court...and yes, you guessed it, make them money in doing so.  Use a name of your choosing, and let's get rid of the Birth Certificate.  We don't need them to tell us who we are.  You are you.  Please make a note of it.

GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS

We've already discussed the birth certificate, so let's get right into marriage "licenses"  Now America, marriage is a right.  Asking for permission from the state or the Government to marry designates it as a privilege.  The state needs to butt out of whether marriage is allowed between two consenting adults, it's just an additional form of revenue, and we all know it.  In some states in the south, marriage licenses weren't required unless the couple was inter-racial, which puts the start of marriage licenses in the U.S. firmly after the civil war.  According to some, this was the start of the REQUIREMENT of marriage licenses.

Marriage is a religious institution folks.  We don't need the Government to tell us that we can get married, nor do we need their permission to do so.  It's a right.  Period.

As for kids, we don't need the state's permission to copulate, to get pregnant, so it only makes a sordid amount of sense to not tell them when we decide to give birth to them, doesn't it?  This gives the state permission to stick their big overgrown noses into our affairs.  We don't need to tell them...and we shouldn't.

PERMISSION TO DRIVE (TRAVEL)

This issue is a hot spot of debate...not because I'm a sovereign or a "lawbreaker", as the Government would have you believe...but because you just...don't....need a license to drive!  The Uniform Commercial Code tells us that we need driver's licenses for only one reason...to drive a commercial or Government related vehicle.  Of course, they don't want you to know this.  Why?  C'mon people, use what sense you have.  If you didn't have an I.D. or a driver's license, how would they ever be able to a.  arrest you and charge you for crimes you supposedly commit, b.  how would they issue you tickets for doing something you can do just fine without them, c.  how would they make money off of you for having them, d.  how could they possibly require that you license your vehicle, insure your vehicle, etc., e.  They wouldn't be able to use the deprivation of this privilege and deprive you of driving to bring in money that you supposedly owe the state or a state run agency, etc...etc...etc.  This is not hard to figure out.  You do not require the state to tell you what you can drive, where you can drive, how you can drive, nor how long you can drive.  Put one foot in front of the other....there you go.  That's the ticket.  Now move.  There.  Did you need the state's permission to do that?  Nope.  It stands to reason then, that you don't need the state to tell you whether you can move around in a big honker piece of metal either.  Do you really believe that the license was invented at the same time as the automobile?  Not even close.  Am I saying you shouldn't be tested to drive a car?  No, not really.  But let's take a moment to look at the way the licensing system is taking severe advantage of us citizens, and maybe then licensing wouldn't seem like such a good idea.

First, lets look at all of the obvious businesses that make tons of money off of you having a driver's license, starting with those of the Government, from the Feds all the way down to your towns of residence.  There's licensing costs, testing costs, parking fines, registering, titling, insurance, SR-22 costs, court costs, probation fees, the cost of restoring your license, traffic ticket costs, etc.  I suppose you have to also count taxes, such as gas tax and car purchasing taxes, let alone jobs created and held by those in Governmental capacities too, such as police officers, sheriffs, parking meter maids, road construction crews, car salesmen/women, parking garage owners/employees, insurance writers, mechanics, truck stop employees, scale operators, DOT workers, etc.  

More importantly though, we should pay close attention to what they're doing to our driver's licenses these days.  Now, they say, because ID's and driver's licenses are so easy to duplicate these days, that they have to keep adding more technological enhancements to it.  This is so obviously a double-edged sword, my friends.  Just by scanning your wallet these days, you can tell who a person is, and what they've done practically their whole lives  They've got it to where you just have to pass a computer-laden cop on the street in your car, and they can bring up your whole DOT history.  Is this what you want?  Most people would say something to the effect of "Why worry?  I have nothing to hide, so why do I care?"  Yeah, maybe...but if you ever did...forget about hiding it, because you won't be able to.

Probably the most scary thing of all, however, is that they are now holding you criminally liable...if you don't have identification.  Yes folks, people are getting arrested for not having ID; and if you move, and don't have your address changed on your driver's license within 30 days, you can be criminally charged for not doing so.  This is when thinking that licenses and ID's are required...stops being funny.  This is obviously when we have to look at whether the ID or license are more for our benefit...or more for theirs.

THE NEED TO HAVE AN I.D. TO BUY THINGS

Another hot spot, in keeping with the previous section - in Europe, when you're old enough to look over a liquor counter, you're old enough to decide whether you can buy a beer or not.  The Europeans, as far as I'm concerned, have been around a few more centuries than we Americans have...I feel that they provide a damned good example for the rest of the planet.  As for smoking and drinking - whether you wish to die from lung cancer or be an alcoholic...is a personal choice, just like any other drug you partake in, sold or prescribed.  I feel this should be a choice you make for your life, and before I hear people say that sometimes you just shouldn't even be presented the choice, for all the damage it does to your life...just remember, that most of these things are of the earth...and they're the things that are illegal.  The ones that are manufactured, if prescribed...are legal.

For that matter, I never did get along with the idea that, if you weren't prescribed it, it's illegal to take it.  If I get a migraine, and I don't have anything for it, but my best friend Chuck does...why should I be arrested for having a pill that Chuck slipped me to resolve the issue?  Why doesn't Chuck get equal blame for giving it to me?  Either way, this is another way that the Government feels they have a right to interfere with your life.  Even more annoying is the fact that everybody asks for ID now...most of them, no matter WHAT your age!!!  I'm sorry...but if I have wrinkles and grey hair, I believe I'm old enough to buy cigarettes or beer.  Neither here nor there, this shouldn't be anybody's business....but mine, thank you very much.  BUTT OUT!

NEEDING THE GOVERNMENT'S APPROVAL TO OWN OR PURCHASE WEAPONS

Now this is a big hottie, these days.  Of course, the answer is a big, fat, resounding hell no, we don't need their approval!  This is apparently under fire now; not because of terrorism...not because of mass shootings.  Folks, you know damn good and well that guns are not the problem.  We Americans didn't just up and develop a problem with owning guns lately...the Government is having a real problem getting them back out of our hands.  They don't want us owning the kind of firepower it takes to be a problem for them...so, it's easier to just make it look...like we have a problem.  We don't.  We haven't.  We never will.

Gun registration...like marriage licenses, were never required, until after the civil war.  Not unlike marriage licenses, they began to be required, because the southern states didn't want recently freed black slaves buying up rifles and shooting their former white owners, after being beaten half to death on their cotton farms.

It wasn't all that long ago...what, a year now; that Washington held a big gun show.  Because they had just passed a law stating that people would have to register their ownership of guns, the people of Washington gathered, and simply refused to do so.  Not because they didn't wanna....but because they didn't HAVE to.  They knew it...and so do we.  Folks, our current government knows we don't like them, nor do we like what they've become, and we certainly don't like what they're doing.  They've tried the easy way, asking us to give up our guns...and we not necessarily nicely refused.  Now they're demanding it, or making laws to get them out of our hands.  It's not working very well, so they're now employing other ways to do so.  One of the easiest ways is to just straight up pass the laws.  Sure, we may object to them or not follow them for a while...but as it's been in the past, we old timers won't be around forever...we'll die off, and a new generation that's used to the laws being there will someday take over, and the law will be there for them.  Another way they've done it is to put us in jail for some stupid reason...then just take them, because they're there.  The most ridiculous way they've done it of late is to start or fake mass shootings...and blame us for it, and maybe some day we'll  fall for that trick and just give it up.  Whatever it takes, I say.  I say, good luck with it all.  Don't give up those guns folks, not for any reason.  Guns are the only reason that America is still America.  Give that up, and you may as well just hand over the whole Constitution...not that we haven't already mind you, but you get the picture.

THE CONSTITUTIONALITY OF COP STOPS

I dunno 'bout the rest of you folks, but I've been raised to believe, nearly all of my life, that anytime a cop asks you for your ID, by God, you had best produce it, and fast.  Cop stops you whilst you drive, you had best pull over and comply.  If he should ask you to search your car, things will go much better for you (if he finds something he/she shouldn't) if you say yes.  If a cop comes to your door and says he needs you to let him in - if you don't want to get shot, you had better do as you're told.

I cannot stress enough here, folks, that you are not under any pressure to do any of this.  This behavior (as well as your conditioned response) is a trick, and you have your rights.  Of course, these days, you don't....really have any rights, but only because you've a.  forgotten what they were, b.  weren't ever taught what they were, or c.  have been brainwashed into the belief that any time any part of Government comes to you, you had better do exactly what they say.  This, more than anything else in our time, pisses me off more than just about anything.  Folks, there is, in the 4th amendment to the Constitution for, and of, the United States of America, a protection against illegal searches and seizures.  Just because law enforcement of this day and age chooses to ignore those rights, or ways to legally circumvent that right, doesn't mean it IS right, nor does it mean you have to agree...to any of it.  Simply put, unless there is probable cause or you are suspected of committing a crime, these people, no matter what capacity they serve in, do NOT have a right to "detain" you, in any fashion, shape, or form, no matter if you're in your car, your home...whatever.  If they ask for your ID, you ask if they're detaining you, or to define the crime they are suspecting you've committed.  If there is nothing, you tell them to move along.  City, State, Federal, it doesn't matter.  They need probable cause, then they need a warrant to search....you, your car, or your home.

Now, again, I will say that it's likely that they'll find a way to get around what they're required to have...but if you're on your toes, you'll know that you have to agree to be searched.  Make them ask...then make them produce a warrant.  If they have no viable reason to "detain" you, they have to let you keep walkin'.  If you're living in one of those lovely states where they say you have to have an ID, you tell them that you have one...and unless you've committed an actual crime, then you don't have to produce one.  If you're in your car, and they ask you for your driver's license, registration and car insurance card, you ask them what crime you've committed, and if you're being detained for committing a crime.  If they try and give you the ol' "You ran a red light" routine, tell them to bring the red light to you, so you can face your accuser.  If it's on police video, ask for the tape.  Then ask them for the statute that states that you can't pass through a red light while it's red and there's a police officer behind you.  Keep the fire to their feet.  Don't sign any tickets, and don't agree to searches.  I don't care if there's a lump in the seat beside you that looks like a dead body...unless there's a cold dead hand spilling out below it, they have no right to pull you out of your car.  Tell them no, they can't search your car.  If they come to your home, open the door only for a visible warrant (that you can see through the window or the peephole), and should you open the door, lock the door, step outside, and pull the door closed behind you.

Should you happen to be driving through an illegal cop stop for drunk drivers, tell them they have no right to do it, and don't agree to a breathalyzer.  Folks, you don't live in Red China....you're an American.  The only reason they get away with these, and radar checkpoints, is because we allow it.  Stop allowing it.  You have rights.  This includes the right to drive freely without entrapment stops.  These people have no right to do anything to you, until you say "Sure officer."  These are YOUR employees.  Claim your rights of "the people", and fire them, if they're abusing those rights.  They work for you.  Sometimes, it's good to remind them that the only reason they have jobs is because you pay their salaries.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Here's one I happen to have a lot of personal experience with.  Should you be able to speak freely?  Oh, but of course.  The trick here is, does the person listening have to like what you're talking about?  No again.  Should crimes be associated with it?  Sorry.  Can't agree.  Speaking freely is....speaking freely.  Therefore, no matter what you say, you should not be able to be arrested for it.  See people, it's like this.  If I don't like what the President says, he can't be arrested for it...so why should I?  Well, what about threatening people?  Sorry, gotta go with logic here...if you can't carry out your threat, or if you're just talking smack, again...no crime committed.  In addition, in this digital age, there are too many ways to ignore or block what's being said.

Now, there are most certainly exceptions to the rule here...If someone threatens the President's life, sure....take it seriously.  If there's a bomb threat, of course.  But if they're obviously not able to carry that threat out, to Hell with that person.  And here's another one, maybe the person making threats was incited into doing so, like I was...so what about the inciting party?  They don't have to be arrested??  C'mon people, use yer heads.  If the guy threatening you lives 100 miles away and doesn't have a car, chances are he's just mad, or talking smack.

Oh, but what about harassers and stalkers, you wonder?  Guys, c'mon.  If they're calling you...block the damn number, or change it.  If they're harassing you in emails, dump it in the spam folder, or make a new email account...better yet...DON'T READ IT!  If they come to your house?  Then have them arrested.  'Til then, screw 'em!  


Here's a good example of how ridiculous things have gotten.  People are offended these days way too easily.

Once, I made a new flyer for a business I was planning to start.  I spread them around town, and came back later to try and figure out why I wasn't getting any business.  Everywhere I had put one up, they were taken down.  Everywhere I had asked to have someone put it up for me, there was nothing there.  Finally, I asked one place, a diner, what was going on.  They said that someone, a regular customer, had read it, and had been offended by something in it.

I got to thinking about it, and the more I thought about it, the madder I got.  For starters, what are the chances that the customer this person was referring to was going to read it twice?  Let 'em be offended once, what are they going to do, stop coming to their favorite restaurant forever because of some idiot flyer they got offended by?  And here's what happened, now that you did that...the offended person may be happy, but the offending party got offended by your taking it down, and you not only cost yourself that guy ever being a customer, plus whoever else he takes to telling about it, you cost him business.  All because of one person getting offended, who wasn't going to stop coming in because you didn't take it down anyway, more than likely.

On another occasion, I asked some friends of mine to put some flyers by the register for me.  I came in another day with more, and asked if he had gone through the ones he'd had.  He said yes, so I left him some more flyers.  I turned to leave, but then remembered something I had forgotten, and went back in, to catch the guy throwing away the flyers that I'd paid good money to print up.  I was furious.  Why would you do something like that, to a friend no less, I asked him.  He said some business man friend of his didn't like the information on the flyer, and told him he shouldn't put them there.  Now, of course, this was the sort of thing that not everyone would like, more so, it involved corruption.  But if you don't like it, don't read it...more so, don't pick them up!  Leave them for someone else!  Instead of this, the business owner/friend cost himself a very good friend...all because some guy, who had the choice not to read the flyer or say anything about it, told him to throw them away.

If you don't like it...don't read it, don't listen to it, don't watch it, don't open it.  Just like you have the freedom to speak, you also have the freedom not to listen.  Don't arrest people for talking...how stupid is that!

PAYING INCOME TAXES

We all know, as Americans, that the taxes we pay, all 6,000,000 of 'em, are just getting ridiculous now.  Taxes are everywhere, on everything, as many as 4-6 different taxes on certain things we buy every day.  We know they're getting higher and more ridiculous all the time...yet we just lump it up and sit on it, chalking it up to a fact of life.

Some of these taxes I can certainly understand...but one stands out as the most unbelievable of them all, and one that I was certain I would someday see repealed in my lifetime.  But then, our Government does know its business...or they'd be out of business.  I'm sure this particular tax has been dogged many times, more than likely during the course of its inception back when it was introduced to America, but as the decades have dragged on, less bitching and more "fact of life" acceptance of it has taken its place.  But folks, I believe the time has come for us to once again bring an end to this tax, more than any other, and that's our Income Tax.

Thanks to Amendment 16 to the Constitution (which neither I nor my parents or grandparents remember passing, codifying or ratifying), we are, of course, required to pay taxes on our income.  This wouldn't be so bad, but did you notice that everyone counts your gross as the money you make, even when you're talking about child support payments or paying your taxes.  I'm sorry guys, but you don't make what you make, not until your taxes are removed from your paychecks.  Your "NET" income should be your gross, and your gross shouldn't even be considered as a part of what you make; mainly because you don't make that.  This holds true for salaries you make at your new jobs.  You don't make that, not take-home, anyway, so why even consider that to be what you make?  Salaries should be reconfigured for your situation, and for the number of dependents you have.  What good is it to tell someone they make 30,000 a year, if 12,000 of that is removed from your checks?

Just one of those beefs, you know what I'm sayin'.

Anyway, the point being, how is it that we Americans have come to accept what could be easily the most unfair tax ever imposed on our lives?  Well, of course, you notice that the Amendment was passed around the time that International Federal Banks came into our lives.  That's one reason.  And, just like everything else that happens in this great country of ours, I'm sure that it was quietly done, and sneakily done as well.  I'm sure the original amounts taken were quite small, and just like everything else done in business, the price increases just crept along and crept up, little by little, bit by bit, 'til it became the monster we all know and feed today.

It's my belief that we have lived with this for far too long already.  Other income based tax systems have been introduced, and should be given a fair shake.  Information on one of the best replacement systems, the "Fair Tax" can be found here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FairTax

and here:

http://www.factcheck.org/2007/05/unspinning-the-fairtax/

By the way, it's important to mention that this concerns ALL taxes imposed on the American people today, not just the income tax.  All additional taxes all tons and tons of them, would be simply replaced by this single tax system, and all of today's taxes would no longer exist.

Even if the Fair Tax system were to take hold, however, should we really be paying taxes on our income?  I know all of you want to say no...so do it already!!  Let's at least ask for a detailed explanation on what all of our taxes actually pay.  I'm sure we can get those answers anyway, just for the Googling...but as they say, you can't believe EVERYTHING...or is it Anything?  That you read on the internet.  If nothing else, I'm sure they leave out as much detail as they can.

As for all of the "added benefits" that they supposedly need to remove from our paychecks, it should be obvious that these should be optional.  Did you notice that they raised the ages to get social security benefits?  The reason given us was that our life expectancy is higher.  I wouldn't count on that being entirely accurate information.  I suppose it could be that we're living longer...but look at how much more dangerous it is to live on this planet now-a-days...is it really possible that, on the average, we're living longer?  Not with all the wars, diseases, mortality rates I've been seeing.  No America, I firmly believe that the age went up to be sure that we're pretty much dead before we receive it, and if for some reason we live long enough, that it won't be long before we're dead, and no longer get it...just like lottery wins in the millions that only seem to go to little old ladies, I think the age went up to make sure that we don't catch the Government with their hands elbow deep in the cookie jar, stealing our benefits.

PAYING TAXES ON THINGS THAT YOU OWN 100%

One of the things about paying taxes that probably bugs me more than the idea of income tax, is paying taxes on things that you own, free and clear.  You've made all the payments on your new car...but is it really your car now?  Is that so?  Then why do you still pay taxes on it every year, depending on its value?  And, of course, there's the matter of your home, or your real estate.  Now, I could understand paying taxes on real estate...if you were making money off of your real estate...but for one building home owners, who only wish to own a home?  This is another one that grinds my gears, something fierce.  Even after the mortgage is paid off, and the loan is through, you still have to pay taxes on your property.  If you don't, you lose your property...but not for what it's worth, but for the value of the property taxes.  Therefore, there's a group of individuals sitting on their thumbs just waiting for that year when your life went south...so that, when you don't pay the property taxes, they can just buy up your property...for the taxes that you haven't paid.  Wow.  So, all those years you made your payments, and your house is GONE, because they cheated you out of 1,000 in tax returns this year, and you weren't able to make your taxes.  All those years working for the American Dream, gone in a half an auction bid.  Worse yet, it probably went to someone that makes money hand over fist buying up property like yours for a living.  Not much differently than just about everything else that defines our great nation, the rich make out like bandits, and you poorer souls, you pay the consequences.

Oh they give you reasons for paying those taxes, of course.  Water, sewage lines, electricity provided your neighborhood, the roads, etc...but even if you live in rural America, these taxes haunt you until the day you croak.  I'm sorry, but if you own it you own it.  If you're still paying the taxes on it...and you could lose it because you don't, then in my opinion, you never do own the damn thing.  'Nuff said on that note.  Let's move on.

Last question, FINALLY, huh?

DOES YOUR VOTE REALLY COUNT?

I've discussed this in other articles, of course...and my feelings on it, of course, have not changed, not even a little.  It's important that we give the citizens the illusion that our votes on who goes into the 2 most important offices in the county matter.  I'm sorry, but the facts show that it does NOT, nor has it mattered since 1787.  This is the date that the electoral college came into being.

Now, I think it should be obvious to the American people, since we have had 3 election outcomes that did not reflect popular vote it should also be obvious that something is wrong with this system.  Actually, for me, once is more than enough.  Anytime the "electors" don't go with popular vote, that to me means that we most certainly do NOT decide, in any way shape or form, who it is that becomes either the President...or his/her Vice.  Ultimately, if your "electors" don't vote the way that you do, then you plain ol' have...no....say.

You notice, though, that the illusion is pretty convincing.  First, the conventions make it look like we're getting what we want, but how do we really know?  The nomination didn't go to who yelled for their candidate the loudest, of course.  So how is it that anyone really knows who it is that we actually put in?  The answer to that has always been, we don't.  Worse yet, we never will know.

That this method of electing the 2 highest offices came to be so early in our nation's history tells me one very important thing.  Early on, someone figured out that, if left up to the people, we could put just about ANYONE in the highest offices of the land....and we can't have that!  No Sir!  So instead, we put the electoral college in as a safeguard...to ensure that, if the wrong choice started to win, that we wouldn't be the ones who put him there.

Your vote, America, for President, matters not.  You do not have a say, nor does your vote count in this case.  A lot of the population pretty much realizes this already, but do you notice that not a lot has changed?  That's because it just can't.  If it were to, God only knows who'd make it in, hmm?

THE CURRENT JUDICIAL METHOD OF "JUSTICE"

For those of you that aren't aware of the extend of how justice is done in America (as well as how it's SUPPOSED to be done), this section is for you.

Every case that happens in a court of law these days is supposed to begin as a civil matter, or is supposed to be handled in what we American's USED to call a Common Law Court.  In case you weren't aware of it, Common Law or Civil cases don't do a damn thing for the State's income.  Therefore, America has been slowly but surely turned away from Common Law, and its courts are now courts of equity.  This way, the state, county and federal courts have more power, and can now make money off of its citizens.  Here is an example of how our judicial system is supposed to handle every matter that comes before its judges:

A complaint is supposed to be filed by a plaintiff, or a wronged party.  For example, if you burn down someone's home, the wronged party, the plaintiff, is supposed to file a sworn "civil" complaint against you, in a Civil Court.  It's the plaintiff's job to set the Jurisdiction that's used, the Judge does not do this.  There is, by the way, no such thing as a "criminal matter."  There are only civil matters.  The "Judge" presides over this matter, and is simply there to rule on the matter, once the complaint is officially made.  He is only there to decide if a crime has been committed, and rules in the defendant's favor, or in favor of the plaintiff.  A monetary damage is then supposed to be assessed in the case, and a bill of debt is tendered, and the defendant should be ordered to pay his debt, and be given a time period to make good on payment of the debt.  Should the defendant not pay his debt, the matter should then be brought into the public sector, and the defendant, should he/she be unwilling to pay, should then be jailed.  Should the plaintiff's complaint be false, and be ruled as false, the judge would find that no debt is owed by the defendant, and the defendant should then be allowed to counter-sue, either at the same time as the case is brought against him/her, or after favor is found for the defendant.  Every case where the defendant is found to be in the wrong, the defendant should be allowed to pay his debt, ruled to be owed to the plaintiff, before the defendant is jailed for the crime committed.

The way it works in an equity court, is that the plaintiff gives his case to the office of "The State", represented by whatever county you're in, or the County Attorney's office.  If you're being charged Federally, the plaintiff becomes "The United States".  The reason this is done is so that the State, or the Country as a whole, can make money from you, as can the represented party.  The other reason it's done this way, is that there is no one sworn statement made by a single person...you are up against a legal fiction, a false corporation, with no option to "counter-sue", since corporate laws differ from personal laws.  This also means that no individual, or a "person", can file charges.  If the state feels that there is no money to be made from the case, they can opt not to file charges in the case.  This is wrong, America.  Relief is not an option, unless the State, or the United States, asks for it.  Not only that, but the option to pay your "debt to society" no longer exists, unless relief is asked for by the "plaintiff", the charging party.  What's more, opportunity to pay is bypassed in these cases, and the defendants are now ordered directly to jail, as if they haven't paid.  As for what remains of civil or common law proceedings, the courts will make their money here as well, in the form of filing fees, with the lawyers fending for themselves...which is why there is no shortage of lawyers that won't take cases unless they see dollar signs.

Because of shows like The People's Court, and Judge Judy, which are, by the way, "civil" courts, it would appear to America that this is how it's done.  It's not until things happen to you, or until remedy is asked for, that you figure out what's really happening in our "Courts of Law".

What's really funny about the way it's done, is that the American public has no idea what's going on anymore, nor are they aware of the deceit that's been snuck into this...until post conviction remedies are asked for.  Then all of a sudden, it's no longer a criminal matter...it's now back to being a civil matter again.  That's because what is being done here is wrong, and the courts of equity are simply fleecing America for all it can before they're found out.

Not convinced?  Call the police, and attempt to file charges against someone.  This no longer happens, in case you haven't noticed.  All you can do is file a police report, and hope that the charges are picked up by the state or U.S. Attorneys.  If the charging entity, the corporate fiction, chooses not to consider what's happened to be a crime, there are no charges filed.  Another thing you'll notice, is that you can now be arrested for Federal crimes long before any charges have even been filed...which could be as long as 30 days.  This means you can be arrested, not charged, and not given a bail for up to 30 days.

Thank God for people like me, or you'd never know these things, eh?  As long as I'm me, and I'm free, you can best believe you'll be told the truth.

***********************************************************************************************************

The Fed Funny Farm, Part II

Judge Robert Blink

Judge William A. Price

Judge Anastasia Baker Hurn...and friend

Judge Carol S. Egly...and believe me, she looks worse in person.

Linda Lane, Asst. County Prosecutor

How nice of Judge Blink.

So here's the deal kids, on August 18th, there's to be another hearing, where they intend to put me back in jail for another 8 months.  Well, thanks to the judge for giving me all of this time, I don't intend to let it happen.

As you have already learned, or soon will, they have denied us the restoration of our parental rights (I never had any, evidently, they vacated my appeal...I wasn't a party, so they aren't able to terminate my rights, since I wasn't the bio father).  Soon enough, every document concerning that case will go up, as well as all documents concerning all of my recent criminal cases.  It's important that America knows the funny stuff they pull on us regular folk, when they don't like what we're doing; exposing their criminal behavior.

Soon enough, I will be pow-wowing with powerful legal minds to file 3 cases in federal court.  One for the Juvenile case (writs a plenty, the Habeas and Certeriori), and 2 for the criminal cases (same writs, along with one for prohibition and mandamus), to ensure that I do no more time for those.  Finally, we will be harassing the United States Attorney's office to file charges of conspiracy and criminal actions against those of Polk County.  This should be loads of fun.

Just because I love for mine enemies to know what's comin' down the pike, here are the things we will be addressing concerning our criminal cases:

1.  There were supposed to be No Contact Orders filed against me for Mark Worthington, and one for Linda Lane.  Of course, there can't legally be one for Ms. Lane, not until she's no longer affiliated with my cases.  As for Mark Worthington, well, he's been continually harassing me and my family ever since the court case, so the courts will have to answer as to why no charges have been filed.

2.  There were documents of mine pulled out of my misdemeanor case, and the court's which look nothing like my other motions filed, we're put in, and the record of the court was changed.  Uh oh.  Looks like fraud upon the court, hmm?

3.  Depositions weren't done, nor was it ever insinuated by my stand-by attorney that they should have been.

4.  200 of my 215 pieces of evidence were dismissed as irrelevant, and 29 of my 40 witnesses were allowed to get out of testifying, all on a Friday...before the Monday trial.

5.  Documents that I asked my stand-by attorney to file for me...never got filed.

6.  I asked that a new trial be asked for, because the jury was more than likely tainted in their guilty decision because of a Des Moines Register article, written just before the jury went into deliberations, that lumped me in with murderous domestic terrorists, called 'Sovereign Citizens'...a phrase I've never used to identify myself...and was never asked for by my stand-by attorney.

7.  I should have gotten a jury trial in my misdemeanor case...and never did.

8.  The judge, Anastasia Hern, was biased, per Judge Price.

9.  Challenges of jurisdiction were not properly answered, and didn't occur until nearly 3 weeks after my arrest.

10.  My pro-se, civil, natural and Constitutional rights, as well as my due process, were continually denied me.

As for the Juvenile appeal, well, you know about that.  If you don't, there's hell to pay, and I intend to tender the bill, very soon.

Again, this should be a blast.  Thank God, federal cases only cost around $5 a pop, or this could have been expensive.

I don't believe I'll be going back to jail, tankyooberrymutts.  I'll letcha know how it goes....ok?

The Polk County "Polkie", Part (B) - July 2016 - A Day In The Life at the PCJ

https://www.polkcountyiowa.gov/sheriff/news-press-releases/polk-county-jail-excelled-in-four-critical-inspections/

Hey America, welcome back!  It's July, and an update that will be completed AFTER July 4th (my release date) can be found below, after the usual asterisks  For those that didn't read last months' fare, we were in the middle of slamming the Polk County Jail, where I have been unlawfully detained for the 4th time in over a year and 3 months now.  is this the last time, you ask?  Oh hell no.  No, I will be out now doing Iowa probation for 2, possibly 3 years, more if they violate me.  When a violation happens (and it WILL happen), it will be the only time.  After that, I will ask that my probation be revoked, so that I don't end up in jail longer than the intended year that I was originally sentenced to receive.  There will be no 2nd violation.  Instead, I will go to jail to do the remainder of my sentence (one year, minus the time I've done already), in order to be finally free of the corruption in this state and all it entails.  I will, prior to that first violation, do as much (legal) damage to mine enemies as possible before they slam me up again, trust that.  The first order of business will be to maximize viewership of both America's Deadly Sins and, particularly, blog the 2nd, "Iowa, and more importantly, Des Moines, Iowa" which can be found HERE:

http://desmoinesandiowathevenusflytrap.blogspot.com/

Again, if you don't feel like sticking around for the Polk County Jail roast to follow, skip on down under the stars (the asterisks at the bottom of the article, remember?) below.  Someone is bound to read this drivel, that I promise.  Do I look worried to you?  'Cause I'm not.

Now, where were we...Oh yeah - A Day In The Life.  Whose life, you ask?  Why, mine, of course.  Add me to around 16,000 other inmates in only this county in only this state, in only one year, and you just begin to see the true problems, not only with the judiciary that puts us here, but with the entire prison system itself.  i'll just say this folks - if you're not convinced of the issues with jail and prison after this mini-series (due to extend for another 2 articles following this one), then you may just be that asleep, that brain-jacked or that stupid, after all.

For those of you wondering if you should come back for August and September, or just reach for the stars every month hereafter?  In August, we'll talk about the ridiculous things we Iowans are arrested for and their related Iowa Code sections, and add to that the fraudulent things the police, the courts and the D.O.C. (Department of "Corrections") are doing to make sure these charges stick to you, and keep you comin' back for more, later down the pike...whether you plead out or go to trial to try and beat them.  In September, we'll be covering state and federal prisons, and all the "out-inmate" options:  The Fort, Bridges, work release, probation, parole, etc...and why none of these programs work; but are instead just there to bring in more money for the state from the Federal Government...and your pocketbooks, inadvertently.

This article, in following the previous one, will discuss in full detail every moment, awake or asleep, of life in the Polk County Jail, the variables that factor into that life, and what we endure...day in, day out, month after month; for what could very well be years, if you're waiting for the Feds to come and get you.  If you need the preamble (from June), it's just one article down, on this same page.  But first, let's go over a few key points in preface to this:

CHAIN OF COMMAND

The chain of command is fairly easy and predictable, and is color-coded there for better understanding.  the C.O.'s in tan shirts are our "den mothers", the "low men on the totem pole."  These folks are half responsible for checking us in, classifying us, answering questions (that we may or may not get an answer to) and making sure we are given what little they are allowed to give us.  They do the very least, and are, almost literally paid baby-sitters.  Very well paid paid baby-sitters, but baby-sitters, none the less.

Next, we have the inmate workers; dressed in lime green and dark grey.  Over them are "The gray shirts,", on the same level as the "tan" shirts.  These C.O.'s are in charge of the inmate workers AND their own special pod.  Generally the same 6-8 people oversee the worker pod.  The workers get 2 days of discharged time for every 10 days they work, are not charged the $60 a day for room and board that the rest of the populace are, and can eat as much jail food as they want to...yum yum.  Oh, I feel it's important to mention that the worker pod is not for everyone, like it is in most prisons; no, they are very picky on who they have work for them.  If you have even been CHARGED with a violent crime...not convicted, CHARGED....you can't work for the jail.  If you don't get along with everyone like an angel...you can't work for the jail.  If you've had discipline problems (didn't roll over and go b-a-a-a-a...like you should), you can't work for the jail.  C'mon guys....maybe you have discipline problems BECAUSE NO ONE CAN WORK OFF THE TIME THEY'RE IN, YA THINK?  Unless you're a 5th degree shoplifter, chances are you won't be working for the jail.  Work should be a requirement.  Otherwise, you just sit around and think of stupid things to do...mainly because there isn't anything to do.

Fun flies when you're doing time, right?

On quite another plane altogether is the last of the bottom-dwellers, the "Red Team".  These are the jail's official "bouncers."  They're called when folks threaten to hurt themselves or others...or when they ARE hurting themselves or others.  They're also called in if the C.O. on duty deems it necessary, and to handle other duties as well, such as shake-downs and moving prisoners around the jail.

All of these lower folks fall under a predictable chain of command.  Sergeants (in black dress shirts) oversee all the lower C.O.'s.  Above them are three lieutenants and a captain, in white dress shirts.  Above the white shirts is the Chief Jailer (someone I've never seen....Joe somebody or other), and above him is the figurehead sheriff, who obviously never is involved in any aspect of the jail, whether running it or overseeing it....Bill McCarthy, the mystery sheriff...who I imagine knows about as much about this jail as you do...or did, after I get finished with you.

JAIL GIVENS

Also worth mentioning are the "Givens" of everyday life at the Polk County Jail:  3 shift changes, 3 mealtimes, 3 pill distribution times, a wake-up and a beddy-bye time.

Monday, North 8 Pod

Unless you need to go to the restroom or get a drink of the nasty water, you cannot get up between 10:30 p.m. and 5:30 a.m.  If you wake up early, you are forced to remain in your cell.  Most C.O.'s won't do anything for you until the lights come on.  The lights come on at 5:30, and breakfast happens at 6:00 a.m.  As you may (or may not) remember, razors can be gotten between 5:30 and 6:00 a.m.  Breakfast will not begin until all razors are returned to the C.O., and all inmates are seated.  You are awakened if still asleep.

"Breakfast" consists of a cup of cereal, 2 slices of bread, a small squeeze packet of peanut butter, and a restaurant-sized packet of jelly, always mixed fruit or grape flavored.  Once or twice a month, you'll get a single egg with your breakfast, or a half of a banana.  The cereal is either frosted flakes, honey-nut Cheerios, or Hy-Vee Fruit Loops.  Also given you is a half of a gallon of OJ and a half of a gallon of milk per 6 inmates (which evens out to around 8 oz. of each per inmate...if everyone is being kind and generous, and if everyone is using only the brown 8 oz. cups that were given you, instead of the 16 oz. soup cups)  From what I've gathered, this breakfast costs the jail an average of $.19 cents per inmate per day.  I believe it.  Even if the price tag were a dollar a day, considering I'm paying Polk County $60 for "room and board" at this jail (in addition to the $142 per inmate per day that the Federal Government is paying them to keep us there as long as possible) I should be getting waffles, an omelet and breakfast in bed.

Instead, I am ordered to remain seated 'til the cart holding our 64 trays, stacked lovingly on top of each other; comes by, and the C.O. allows our table to get up and get it.  Bunk #'s 1-10 are ordered to clean up the mess, and must tell the C.O. what chore they'd like to do:  tables, sweeping, mopping, dust pan or trash.

After breakfast, court go'ers are called to leave around 6:45 a.m.  At this point in time, we will be taking the first of many detours we'll be taking in this article, in order to cover this little pleasure in greater detail.

Anyone attending court between 8-10:30 a.m. leaves the PCJ at 6:45 a.m.  You are waist and wrist cuffed before moving to the front of the jail to await transport.

Some of us will be attending court right here in the jail, as most would after they are booked in within 24 hours of being arrested).  In this case, you simply stay put.  you appear in front of the judge at the jail or at the Polk County courthouse, fully chained (with leg cuffs as well, if you're going to the courthouse).  If you have to attend court at the courthouse (without a jury present), you are kept in full chains (foot, waist and wrist) until you arrive back at the PCJ. If your court time is one of the first to take place, you may get lucky enough to be back for lunch at the jail (if you prefer to call that lucky, anyway).  If not, lunch at the old jail (where you are taken to wait for your hearing) consists of a 10 oz. carton of milk, and a "triple-decker" sandwich.  Between bread pieces one and two are a single piece of meat.  Between bread pieces 2 and 3 is a single piece of processed cheese.  Yum....ME!!

Fortunately, if you are to appear in front of a jury, you're allowed to wear dress clothes and not required to wear chains.  If this is the case, then why not all of the time?  I would think the line to a suspect would be a lot more direct for a sheriff if less people are present, so why do chains need to be on for jury-less hearings?  Wouldn't a defendant be a lot more dangerous if there were more people in the room?  I would imagine so!  I'm sure the number of times a defendant goes off on a tangent is more so with a room full of people, added to the danger to them becoming hostages.  Anyway...

Let's get back to the PCJ.

After breakfast, you are allowed to move around until shift change.  you are then ordered back to your bunk until the new C.O. comes on, around 7;45 a.m.  The phones come on at 8:00 a.m. (after you're allowed to move around again).

Now, let's take detour #2, the phone fun.  When you get to your first "Barney Land" pod (see the first part of this series, from June), if you want to use their phones, you need to register to use them, using voice recognition.  One of the biggest ways the prosecution in Polk County gets you is through their access to your phone calls (and the numbers you call), your visits, and your use of their mail system.  Every letter going out (not addressed to a lawyer or a judge) is read.  Every letter coming in is opened.  Every phone call and visit is now monitored, recorded, and can now be used against you in a court of law.  They consider every phone call you make like an interrogation now, and read you your Miranda rights...both to you, and to your caller.  Should you have a conversation with your wife (which used to be known as 'marital privilege') or are your own lawyer (pro-se, meaning any conversations you might have about your case with someone would be "work-product privilege") no longer matters now.  A judge will now say that if you use their phone to make phone calls, you now subject yourself to them going against you.  So what they're really saying is, the rights you have on the outside (or used to have anyway...even then I wonder) you don't have in jail, you have no rights at all; as well as NO OTHER WAY to communicate with anyone on the outside.  They say "if you use the jail's phone" like you have another choice.  You don't.  Your choice is use their phones, and quite possibly get in more trouble (or get others in trouble)...or don't communicate with your loved ones at all.  Nice right?  Don't forget this:  Local phone calls (which just went up AGAIN before my release) are now $3.00 each.  In other areas or area codes in Iowa, I've seen phone calls run as high as $4.00 to connect...and $.45 a minute...NO JOKE.  Anything else anywhere in the country?  $.21 a minute.  Somebody in Iowa's makin' money hand over fist, hmm??

Back to the main highway.

At 9-9:30 a.m. you are woke up again for "Med Pass".  Shit!  Another detour?  So soon?

Yes kids, it's Medical.  Now, when you are "fishbowl" bound, you see Medical, right away (after you sit there for about 12 or better hours, I mean).  This visit's on the house.  After this, you're charged $5-$10 for each time they have to come and see you (they come 3 times a day anyway...so why are you charged at all?)  To get them to return, you have to fill out a "Kite."  Now wait a minute...a kite...we mentioned this in my last article, and promised to address this, didn't we?  Well, buckle your seats again.  We're already detoured, so I suppose now we're going to have to 4-wheel it off the road this time.

A "kite" is a request you make of the jail...simple as that.  Whether for medical, for a law book, a haircut, or for medical...whatever, a kite is a request of the jail to do something for you; but yeah, you guessed it, nothing is ever this simple at the Polk County Jail, or Polk County, period.

Being someone who has (now) had personal experience about this "award-winning" jail and its operations, let me now tell you how kites and their elevated parents, 'Grievances', really work out.

If your request is an easy one, has a definite "No" answer, and doesn't involve a C.O. or their superiors, you receive an answer almost immediately.  If you're deathly ill or dying, you should get a response sometime in 24 hours (In case you're wondering if I'm joking, I don't believe I am).  If your kite or grievance involves a difficult staff member or is tough for them to handle (or, in contrast, makes your life better or easier in any way), it might never be addressed.

When I first discovered kites and grievances (more of those things you have to figure out on your own), I spent 5 whole days filling out 10 kites a day, asking for the same 10 things...for experimental purposes.  out of those 50 kites I put in (after waiting nearly 2 weeks for the first response to come in...these come in your "mail" when they're answered) 4 requests happened in a normal time span (I was allowed to visit the "Law Library...a small room with some law books in it and a computer that doesn't have spell check or the internet on it on which you can design legal documents, I received a law book I asked for nearly 3 weeks after the kites asking for it, etc.), 2 "No" answers for the simple things, and the other 44 were never addressed, in any way shape or form.  Later, I wrote a letter to the Sheriff (The Captain of the Jail?) and the Captain responded back stating that all 50 of my kites had been addressed.  By whom and how are still a great mystery to all, to this day.

The next step up from kites are "Grievances."  These are more likely to get results, but not if:

1.  The C.O. you have a problem with (the reason for the majority of grievances are about them, and they are the ones who enter your grievance in the computer) is still on duty and won't submit it or enter it into the computer (that said, how would you know if he ever did?)

2.  In involves something that's wrong with the jail or its staff, wrongdoing against you by the staff or involves the direct violation or deprivation of your rights, or

3.  It is entirely too difficult to address or helps you in any way.

Lastly, there are 2 steps above these, but as it has been discovered by me, these are almost the exact same thing:  Writing to the Chief Jailer (Joe Simon), whom no one has ever seen, or even knows if he exists; and writing to the Sheriff himself...and he doesn't write you back, the Captain of the C.O.'s does...so why bother?

One more thing about kiting and grievances, and I'm done, I swear.  Not long ago, I kited for a box for my papers, during the 2nd half of my 5 month stint in the PCJ (I had been out for 2 weeks and had to go back after sentencing, remember?).  Now, keep in mind, I had a box during the first 3 months of my stay - I had filed 200 plus pieces of evidence in my case, and they told me time and time again to just kite for one; and I got one.  This time around, I had quite a stack going, but when the C.O. got around to addressing it this time, he said I didn't have enough paper to warrant having a box, and that my stack would have to just keep getting bigger.  Towards the end of the same day, someone decided that it would be funny to take the majority of my stack and put it under the door of the locked "Blue Room".  I finally was told where they were, and got them back, but until that time, I of course thought they had been stolen.  Because of this, and because I had, the same day, been denied a box earlier, I asked for a grievance form to make my displeasure with this known.

Prior to your receiving a grievance form, the C.O. on duty (the one you may very well have a problem with) has been given the power to decide whether your grievance is deserved, and whether the thing or person that you have a problem with is a "Grievable offence".  According to their own rule book, it shows a grievance to be defined as "an official statement of a complaint over something believed to be wrong or unfair."  Now, I don't know about you, but that tells me that just about EVERYTHING is a grievance, to you....isn't it?  How then should the C.O. be involved?  Worse yet, the C.O. himself could be the problem...couldn't he?  So how is it right that he should be able to decide if your problem should be complained about at all?  'Nuff said.

Anyway, after filling out a grievance, I was told that boxes weren't issued to inmates...which is funny, since I was known as "Bruce, the Box" for almost 3 months.  I was denied the box.  I grievanced again, and explained that I had one before, and, when I had kited for one previously, a couple of weeks before that, I was told that I didn't have enough papers to get the box...that no one issues to inmates.  How, I asked, could I be denied something that they didn't issue?  He stated, in answer to this one, that the matter had already been decided...box denied.  Great huh?

Let's move back to Medical.

After you "see" medical, you are then, more than likely, placed on some sort of medicine, and are now the unwitting participant in "Med-Passes"; once, twice or three times a day.  This shouldn't concern anyone not receiving meds...but it does.  Evidently, someone did something wrong to a nurse, to the cart with the meds on it, or to the meds themselves, because now the entire pod is required to "bunk-up" every time the med cart arrives, unless you're receiving some...whether there are 20 people getting meds..or even just one.

The first time, the biggest one, happens at 9:-9:30 a.m, just after being sent to your bunks 2 hours earlier for the first shift change.

At 11:00 a.m., the phones go off again, because phone calls are usually 20 minutes, and lunch comes at 11:30.  So?  Let's do lunch.

Lunch consists of not a whole lot that resembles what others might call "food."  The closest meal to real food is a taco tray.  This holds true for dinner trays as well.  The average dish resembles a goulash or mish-mash of noodles, rice, veggies and or "meat".  The jail has a set menu spanning 6 weeks.  Almost all the food served you is either processed, fake, canned, or pressed, and has no obvious nutritional value whatsoever.  If you have nothing extra you've bought from the commissary to eat, you can count on being hungry again after each meal, usually within the hour.  Lunch trays have a single sugar-free drink packet on them, which only flavors an 8 oz. glass of water...tops.  Drinking straight water here isn't a viable option.

Besides your "main" and "drink", you get one veggie-style side, 2 pieces of bread and butter (only one with certain meals) and a "fruit" desert.

So much for lunch....yuchy.

After lunch, Bunks 1-10 clean again, and the phones come back on at 12 p.m.

Now is probably the best time for a shower.  Before this can happen, it's probably best that you soap up and scrub the shower floor, move off the nasty clothes of others that are hung here to dry off (for those who don't like the awful smell of laundered clothing, or if it's been forever since laundry has last been around), and chase of the 20 or so black flies that have nested around the shower area.

After being oogled at for 20 or so minutes, there's another shift change (bunk-up!) at 3:30, another med-pass between 4 and 4:30 (bunk up!), the phones go off at 5, and din-din is called at 5:30 p.m.  Care to join us?

Tonight, we're having 4 processed meatballs and fake mashed potatoes for the main; canned green beans, 2 slice of bread and butter, apples for one desert...and apple crisp (with the same apples) for the 2nd desert.  The difference between lunch and dinner?  You get one extra dessert...even if it's using the same thing as the other desert.  Interesting.

By the way, it's said that Lunches and Dinners run around $.59 cents a head.  That and the $.19 cent breakfast sure makes me feel better about the $202 dollars a day this jail gets for having me here every 24 hours; $60 of that coming out of my pocket.  I think there are hotels with real beds that'll treat me about 10 times better for less money.

Between 6;30 and 8:30 p.m., my mail arrives.  You know what that means...it's time for another detour.

My mail, before it's received, has already been opened and read.  Any 'contraband' is removed (i.e., extra blank paper, internet related printouts, suggestive pictures, pictures over 4"x 6", any pictures over your allowed 5 pictures, stick-up notes, lipstick kisses, etc.).  When you send mail out, it is not to be sealed, so it can also be read, the only exceptions being a letter to a judge or your attorney (I'm not sure how they keep track of who your attorney is, but evidently they always must know).  Legal mail (mail from the court, or mail from "an" attorney, not necessarily yours) is not read...but certified mail is signed for by the jail, and is also read, no matter what it is.

Mail must go out or come to you whenever they feel like doing it, because some mail has taken as long as a week to get to who I've sent it to; the same applies to things mailed to me.  Some mail never arrived, either way.

Back to the main road.

At 10 p.m., bunks 1-10 clean the place again, and the phone goes off 'til 8:00 a.m.  At 10:15 you are chased back to your bunks again, and at 10:30 the lights go out for good.  Talk after this, and you may get wrote up, moved to another pod, or worse.

For the remainder of the week, we'll only discuss the differences for each day.  One given, a different series of bunk numbers is told to clean each day.

Tuesday, North 8

Between 5:30 and 7:00 a.m., you can sign up to have a phone call made to your attorney...if you know who your attorney even is (this is not likely for most), what their phone number is, or if you can even get them to come and see you...at all.  More than most never hear from their "attorneys" (mostly court-appointed ones) until they go to court for the first time.  After they meet them, they generally won't see them again until their next appearance.  Tuesday is also laundry day; one of two you have every week (remember, you're only allowed to have a full set of 2 outfits...and one of those will not get changed out on laundry day, because you have to wear a set to be in the laundry line).  Here, you're required to "bunk-up" again, or a very long line might be allowed, where you stand and wait to get your clothes.  A gray shirted clothes Nazi stands close to the line to make sure you don't receive any more clothes than you're allowed to have.

Wednesday, North 8

After breakfast today, you'll start cleaning for your once-a-week inspection...or not.  I think we might be due for another detour.

Now, if your pod was actually filled with 64 polite, cleanly, respectful, as well as respectable inmates, this would easily be the most simple thing to happen during your stay.  Prior to your inspection, right after breakfast, if every one of the 64 inmates in your pod were to pick one thing to clean for 5 minutes, it would be all over, and everyone could go back to bed at 6:15 or so.  What happens instead is, 5 or six inmates who are fanatically cleanly, clean the entire pod for everyone else, while the rest of the pod sleeps; and cleaning goes on by these same five or six inmates all the way until the whistle blows at 8:00 to 8:15.  Usually, the more lazy of the inmates are the ones that cause the pod to lose their inspection, as well as whatever privileges the whole pod gets if they are "basic standards met" or the winners.

There are only two "motivations" (if you should desire to call them that) to win an inspection.  One, is that, on Saturday, you'll get a Little Debbie's Honey Bun (that's usually gone in around 3 to 4 bites) and an 8 oz. lemonade.  The other, if you're fortunate enough to have cash on your books, happens on Saturday night.  There will come, to your pod, a "Chuckwagon", where you'll be given the opportunity to purchase massively over-priced items from the commissary that aren't on their usual menu, and they will be prepared on the spot.  Wow.  A box of Mike & Ike's that you can pick up at the Dollar Tree for a dollar is $2.50.  A bag of Microwave popcorn that probably costs them around $.40 cents is $1.40 a bag.  A large Kit-Kat or Hershey's chocolate bar is $3.65, and a 6.2 once rib sandwich or a cheeseburger is a whopping $5.75...about the price of a complete value meal at any fast food restaurant...for a lone microwave sandwich.  You would think that, at that price, the condiments would be free...but if you want ketchup or mustard, it's $.10 cents a package.  In case it isn't obvious as yet, commissary is a HUGE source of inmate income for the jail.

Winners of these inspections are so obviously spread around.  If it isn't your week to win, anything will be produced to make sure you don't win it, in order to keep people thinking that they're worth cleaning to win out.  pods who still refuse to clean lose movie, TV and other privileges...so it's best to hope that you have fanatics who insist on cleanliness, or you might lose out on all your privileges.

My feelings on inspections are a lot like they are on the subject of food.  At $60 a day (that I'm charged for room and board, let alone the $142 a day they get for keeping me here from the Feds), this pod should clean itself, I should be lying on sickeningly soft mattresses with 2 pillows and chocolates on them in the morning, and should be served steak at least once a week.  Instead, 6 days and 23 hours out of the week, I'm tripping over paper towel balls (that people miss the garbage cans with when they shoot for the can); I step in puddles of missed piss in waffled flip-flop patterns, and I have to scoop massive piles of hair out of sinks before I'm able to wash my hands in them.  The only time a pod is truly clean is for around an hour, between 8-9 a.m., on Wednesdays.

Thursday, North 8

The attorney call list goes back up again, and you can now order the Des Moines Register for the upcoming week at $1.27 a day (M-Sat) and $1.74 for Sunday.  This is also commissary delivery day, and detour time again.

Now, in the last article, we discussed the ordering and the pricing of commissary from the kiosks in fairly decent detail; but in order to give you a complete picture, we need to add some key facts and describe the delivery.

Commissary is not controlled by the jail, it's a separate company.  Therefore, problems with commissary are handled....by commissary.  For those of you not yet sure what that means, if your order doesn't add up; if you don't receive your order, or if it comes a cay late or you're due a refund, the jail is conveniently not responsible, nor will it help you with any issues you might have with them or your order.

If you get your bag, and $20 worth of items don't show up, refunds are made when commissary feels like making them.  If you miss your order (if you're at court, or in a class) when they arrive, you won't get the order that day, you will have to wait until they make re-deliveries, as many as 4 days later.

Now, in my opine, if you spend money, and you don't like what you bought, refunds are available to you almost immediately, upon presenting your receipt and your problem with what you bought.  Why should you have to wait, because you're in prison?  If anything, you should get it even faster, I would think, that way you could immediately spend it on something else that makes the jail more money than anyone else, like $3 local phone calls....sheesh.

One of the favorite things I hear from staff...kind of a last word type of thing, when they can't think of anything else intelligent to say; when we inmates complain about anything that happens at the jail; ...is "bail out and go home..."...or, another favorite, "don't get arrested".  Really?  How grown up is that?  A.  Like we beg to get arrested.  How about you stop making up all these ridiculous statutes and ways to get arrested, and maybe we won't have to be treated like children.  B.  Some of us....AREN'T GUILTY, or SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ARRESTED AT ALL.  What about those people?  Did they have a choice?  C.  As for bailing out, when I was first arrested, my bail was $70,000, supposedly for (allegedly) making some phone calls to someone and threatening them, from 85 miles away...in a different county, with no car to make good on them.  I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.  If you happen to have $7,000 dollars lying around the house I could borrow (that you will never get back, by the way), in addition to a house that you would have to put up as collateral as a guarantee that I'll show up for court to get sentenced for my crimes, I'll be most happy to "Bond out and go home."  I didn't think you did.  Then SHUT UP ALREADY.

Sorry....lost my mind for a moment.  I'm back, honest.

Laundry shows up again.  You get no more clean clothes until Monday this time.

Friday, North 8

Friday's differences are only that re-deliveries are done by commissary, and that there's a movie on at 8...for those that passed inspection.  Those that didn't won't even have TV that night.

Saturday, North 8

Movie is at 8 p.m. again today...Extra commissary snack packs could be coming today, or on Friday, depending on how busy commissary is.  Those "lucky" winners of the inspection will be getting their honeybuns and lemonade today, and the "Chuckwagon" shows at around movie time.

Sunday, North 8

Nothing happens today.  Nada.  Zero.  Zip.  Today is spent wishing Monday would hurry up and get here, so something will finally happen again.

And this, dear readers, is your life in the Polk County Jail...day in, day out, weeks and months (and even years, for fed inmates) even.  Same ol' Song and Dance.  The only thing that changes are the faces...and even then, this is never a given.  One man leaves, another man enters.

Join us again next month.  You know why....so....let's DO IT!  :D

***************************************************************************************************

JULY 4TH UPDATE

Well I'm free...and I'm not going for probation.  Sorry kiddies, I am not doing this...but I am getting a nice one month break from jail.  On the 18th of August I will, once again, go before Judge Blink, and be sentenced to what could be an additional 8 more months in the Polk County "Polkie."  Gee, I can't wait.  The good news is this...once this is over, it's ALL over, and I can move out of this state and fight my fight unfettered...and without worry of retribution by Polk County.  They will NEVER AGAIN know where I am, nor will they ever again find me...but exposure of their crimes, as promised, will continue until...well, you know what :D

The Polk County "Polkie", Part II (A)- June 2016

Remember, this is when it was brand new, and empty.

Well kids, it's June 2nd, the day after I had a surprise un-scheduled hearing at the Polk County Courthouse that I was not expecting. We'll get to the results of that hearing in the 2nd section of this "Part II (A) article; just after a line of asterisks below. Therefore, should the primary substance of this article fail to interest you, skip on down, and make a note of the following news headline.

"Iowa, and More importantly, Des Moines, Iowa", a 2nd blog of mine that I started a little over a year ago, then was left by the side of the road to die, is about to rise from the ashes once again and will now happen for two very obvious reasons:

1. This is AMERICA'S Deadly Sins...not Christopher Bruce's or Des Moines, Iowa Deadly Sins. It's time that this blog be hereby limited to dealing with the more prominent issues, as it first began, to those whole 2 years ago now (wow... who knew, eh?). This blog will, henceforth, after my release, deal ONLY with America's issues...not mine, or Iowa's....and will not involve my personal life in any way.

2. If you were to Google Des Moines, Polk County or Iowa, the sheer volume of tags associated with those searches contained in the tags in ADS (America's Deadly Sins) would bring up ADS numerous times. Here's the problem with that, though, no logical or person, upon the aforementioned places. A blog named with Des Moines and Iowa in the TITLE however.. that would be another bullet in the chamber, eh?

Therefore, "IAMIDMI" will be revived using life-saving technology, and will massively prompted to the world as the #1 source of all the REAL news that is news there, not just the souped up lies CityView Newspaper and the Des Moines Register tell you.

That blog can be found here:

http://desmoinesandiowathevenusflytrap.blogspot.com

Now, before you ask, all of America's Deadly Sins's content will remain right where it is now.  ADS's content, where relevant, will be moved (via direct copy) to blog the 2nd as well, in a straight timeline, just like it is here.  Also noteworthy, all of my new documents, until readership abounds on blog the 2nd will be double-posted and double-shared on all social medias everywhere, until blog the 2nd stands on its own, and its hit counter parallels ADS's.  Then once I'm satisfied that it's working on its own, I will cease posting Iowa relevant news on ADS...unless it's relevant to the bigger picture.  National exposure of Child Protective services will always be a priority and a primary theme on ADS, that will never change.  But what happens to me personally, Iowa, and Des Moines will only be posted on "IAMIDMI" from this point on.

Author's addendum:  "IAMIDMI" already has a slew of good articles that were posted there already, exclusively, for those friends and such from Iowa that are at all interested...and no, Mark, you can't comment there either.  Too bad, sooooooo sad.

So whaddya say we move on to the more meaty portion of this article, hmm??  Again, for those of you already yawning, you know where to go (down...remember?).  For those of you who are daring to carry on, be warned:  The main purpose of this article is to bore the pants off of those parts of the country, not Iowan in nature, with the intricate mechanics of how Polk County, Iowa treats its prisoners and those released.  There, I said it.  Warning over.  Carry on.

Let's begin by mentioning that, according to the Captain in charge of this jail (obviously, the SHERIFF, Bill McCarthy, who is SUPPOSED to be in charge really isn't...in charge of this jail - if he were, he'd be answering his mail, addressed to him, personally, wouldn't he?) states, in a letter he addressed right back to me in reply, that Polk County Jail passes inspections without fail, and is, I'm not kidding you...an "award-winning jail.  What do you say we have some fun with this afore we carry on, OK?

Here's that article about how "award-winning" our very own jail is:

https://www.polkcountyiowa.gov/sheriff/news-press-releases/polk-county-jail-excelled-in-four-critical-inspections/

First and foremost, how can any jail...anyplace...be "award-winning?"  That's just about all I have to say about that.

2nd, I'm sure "award-winning" jails aren't a whole lot different, really, than "award-winning" anything elses.  For instance, just like "award-winning" restaurants, I'm sure that the management team of whatever restaurant we're talking about here is always fully aware of the possible or probable coming of an "inspection" or of a critics visit...and are, of course, well-prepared on the date of the arrival of the same, to where, inevitably, they pass with flying colors just about on every occasion.  I'd hate to see the majority of these restaurants (and have, trust me), the rest of those non-inspection-type times.  Not only that, management, usually, or in particular, the owners of said restaurants, not only don't have a clue about these inspections, nor are they usually involved in passing them or getting good reviews in any way, shape or form.  I pretty much bet that nary an owner either rolled up their sleeves to help out with the cleaning, nor did a one of them participate in making any of the food that the critics gave rave reviews on.  No, without the hard work of the worker ants in these places, those with the most to lose (employees, management teams and the like), most of these places would be closed down so fast, it'd make their pots and pans spin.

Finally, before we close the door forever on this "award-winning" crapola, let's take a break for a moment of fairness.  I'm sure, that compared to the old Polk County Jail, where they piled the prisoners 10-high and packed 'em in like corralled cattle, then tossed 'em around to other state prisons in Iowa and Missouri (at the tax-payer's expense, naturally), as well as compared to other bigger and more nasty jails in larger cities, the new Polk County Jail is perfecto, and worthy of everything short of Bill being knighted by the Queen.  I'm certain, as well, that to the staff and owners of this obvious business, as well as to the board members, stock holders and award givers, it also appears quite worthy of this honor.  To those spending time in it, however, quite a different tune is sung.  That being said, let's strap in, cuff up, and stomp on down and let's see what's REALLY going on here, shall we?

To those of you that are new to this blog, or that have only been around for a couple of months, I have written another article about this jail, that can be found HERE:

http://themightyswordamericasdeadlysins.blogspot.com/2016/02/bravingthe-banjo-part-viii-new-and.html

This article is more general, and serves as a great preamble to this one.  Here is where we expound on the generalities, tear the place into itty bitty shreds, and show you every little thing that I'm certain those inspection teams missed; as they were tallying up their little score cards during their inspections.

SooooooooLET'S GET READY TO FUMMMMBLLLLEEEE!

Now, I'm sure that you are all of the mind that jail, in and of itself, is meant to be a deterrent, so that, once experienced, you would have no desire to return to it anytime soon.  OK, Consider that understood.  I'm also betting that you are of the mind that jails and prisons weren't built with the concept that, once inside one, the primary goal ISN'T to make sure that you feel comfortable, safe, or happy, pretty much for the previously states reasons...Granted.

I myself would have to say, then, if the above statements and their intentions were truly well-meaning and proven to be "reasonable" beyond the shadow of a doubt, then jails, and their prison cousins should then put newcomers in ridiculously unbearable situations and surroundings for a minimum of, at the most, maybe 24 hours...3 days, tops.

Well, it would seem that someone in Polk County has already thought of these things; and whoever it was, obviously had the Marquis de Sade, the Sadist's Sadist, in their family tree.  Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, I hereby present:

The INTAKE

Getting arrested in Iowa and getting carried off to the Polk County Jail is hardly difficult.  Surviving the ordeal that follows, however, requires true patience and stamina, the likes I have seen only in the toughest of humans...and even then, I worry.  The probability of snapping is ripe at all times; and doubly, if not more, in the initial 24 hours.  Segregation, if done at all in the beginning, is limited to the scope of absolute extremes.  Unless a person is disruptive, destructive, disturbed or downright drunk upon arrest or soon thereafter, the person you could be stuck 5" away from could just be that serial rapist, murderer, child molester, or terrorist you've seen plastered all over the news, lo these past many months; and you'd never know it until after your neck was broken, because you chose not to uphold your promise to give whoever it was the cookie from your dinner tray.

I suppose we ought to draw a nice straight line from your house to the jail first.

So, day one, and you''re sitting on your front porch, smokin' a big fat J.  Your neighbor George comes out on his front porch, and catches you having wayyyyy too much fun, smokin' a big fat ol' J on your front porch, makes a note of it, then calls in to his local legislator's office, and tells them that there really should be some kinda law prohibiting people from having way too much fun smokin' big fat ol' J's on their front porches.

Day two, Mr. Legislator, who's also supposed to be looking out for YOUR best interests as well as George's, without fanfare, passes a statute that states you should be arrested, should you engage in the much repeated behavior a couple of paragraphs ago.

Day 3, and you return to your coveted spot on the front porch, and Mr. Authoritay rolls up on you and escorts you to his waiting luxury police limo after hauling you off your front porch, big fat ol' J in tow, and in furry cuffs....well, sans the fur.
\
After being rudely taken to the Polk County Jail, you are escorted inside, and immediately placed against a waiting mat, told to take off your shoes and socks, the cuffs are removed, and you are told to put on a used pair of gray socks and a used pair of orange flip-flops.

You are then placed in a cell with a pay phone in it, and told to wait patiently.  The room is approximately 8'x10' wide, has a large window and windowed door in front, and is all cement, and has a 3' high cement slab seat that winds around the non-windowed portion.  The phone makes collect phone calls at $14.00 a pop.  You could be in this room for 5 minutes or five hours.  The phone is said to make debit card calls too, but I have yet to see anyone pull this off (added to the fact that you do not have a debit card on you), nor does anyone seem to know how much these calls actually cost from this phone.

After the 5 minute "booking" where you just provide your name, birth date and a few more details, you are then shuffled into the intake area, into a small room that looks suspiciously like the last room you waited in, with some rather key differences.  This room is affectionately known by inmates and Correctional Officers (heretofore known as C.O.'s) as the "Fishbowl."  The obvious differences are:

1.  You can see in the windowed portion, but you can barely see out of it...hence the fishbowl moniker.

2.  You get a blanket now (wait, there's an effective counter to this seeming benefit up and coming)

3.  There is no phone, nor any books, no pens or pencils, no paper, no hot water...no anything.

4.  Instead of 1-5 of you, there is now 8-12 of you in the same cramped space.

5.  You are now completely devoid of your street clothes, and are now in full standard issue used undies (consisting of brown boxers, and a brown T-shirt), green and white striped outers, and your previously issued orange and gray socks and shoes.

6.  Chances are, if you sleep at all, you will be sleeping sitting up.

7.  You could be in this room anywhere from 12-36 hours.

Now, granted, you or the people with you may bond out of this heavenly little cell (provided your short time with a payphone nets you an answer to your friends, relatives or a local bondsman that thinks you might bring in his next payday), but as soon as someone leaves, someone with less luck bonding out takes their place.  Since there is next to nothing to do except pee or poop in the lone toilet in this cell, sleep, breath, talk or eat; the rest of your time is spent watching people go in and out, or bothering the C.O.'s to get what you want.  Of course, the more you ask for something, the more you're duly ignored, unless you get a helpful C.O., about a one in ten chance.

After what could be a day and a half, you are then shuffled into your next temporary home, a "pod".  For those of you that are not familiar with what a pod is, we'll cover this a little down the road.  Basically, for all intents and purposes, a "pod" is a pre-fabbed jail housing unit that is identical to other units in the same jail or other jails.  Some pods are made a little differently to house more specialized people.  It's a standard, if you will, in a more modern jail setting.

The first pod that you go to is called Barney Land 1.  This "pod" is a classification pod...whatever that means.  The name stems from the time when this pod's TV set only sported the public access channel, including the 'Barney Show, of course.  Nowadays, however, the only thing that plays on the TV set in Barney Land 1 is the Jail's rules, in both English and Spanish.  There is nothing else to do in this pod but talk.  If you've been to the jail before, you'd known other things that are available here, but most inmates are learning this stuff for the first time.  You are, of course, expected to figure out these things for yourself.  You aren't able to order any commissary (not even hygiene products), and you are stuck here for 2 days.

After this, you are taken to Barney Land 2, which is right next door to where you were in Barney Land 1, another classification pod, where you also stay for yet another 2 days.  The difference?  you now can watch up to 4 local stations on the tube, and you can finally order only hygiene products on the computer kiosks...not that you'll get them for at least a week, but you can sure order them anyway.  We'll get to that soon, I promise.

The list of items you are given without a price tag goes like this (item, where you can receive the item, and times when you can receive them where):

A single bar of motel-sized soap
The fishbowl and right before BL 1
Before you go to BL 1

Toothbrush, 2 1/2 inches long
The Fishbowl, right before BL 1, and the pods
6;30-7;30 a.m.

Toothpaste
The Fishbowl, right before BL 1, and the pods
6:30-7:30 a.m.

Razor, Single-blade non-bic
Pods Only
5:30-6:00 a.m.

Pencils, Miniature-Golf Sized, 2 sharpen Max
Pods only
Anytime

Paper, single sheet, lined, 5 1/2"x8 1/2", with "Polk County (Jail)" and the address emblazened across the top (for those of you that weren't able to read the required 6 line address from the envelope).
Pods Only
Anytime

Spork, orange plastic
Pods Only
Upon request

8 oz. Tan plastic glass
Pods only
Upon request

Paper towels (napkins, cleaning)
Pods Only
Anytime

Toilet Paper
Everyplace
Anytime

The remainder of your complementary free items include;

One blue 6" thick foam mattress (that usually settles to 1-2" of thickness after it's been in use for about a month, depending on how big you are) with a 10" thick "pillow, built-in (same physics apply).

1/2 all steel bunk bed to place said foam mattress on

2 sick-green sheets (who is it that thinks of these marvelous color schemes I wonder?) that are much too short for said foam mattress

1 dark brown towel and 1 dark brown washcloth

2 dark brown T-shirts and 2 dark brown boxer briefs.

2 pairs gray tube socks

1 pair orange flip-flops

2 green and white striped outers for all occasions - fine dining, casual, court appearances (sans a jury), bedtime, and just plain ol' "lying around the pod".  Another set of colors, orange and white, appears after "Barney two", for those more....disturbed patrons of the jail.

All clothing, towels and sheets issued to you?  Used, more than likely by 1000 inmates before you.

After you get done moping around Barney 2 for two more days, you are then placed in your "forever" pod, your new permanent home, for however long.  These sport some major differences over the barneys.  I suppose now might be a good time to give you a description of this "pod", eh?

As you enter your pod head-on, the first thing you see on your right (or left, depending on which direction your pod faces), is an outdated printed set of the rules of the jail, evidently placed here for those folks not bight enough to navigate the computer kiosks, where a more detailed and most definitely more updated set of the rules is located.  Of course, the way I see it is, if you can't navigate the kiosks (that you use almost daily, for other reasons), then I would assume that you are also too uneducated to read the rules, too...so why bother?  Oh, and as long as we have nicked the issue, let's go on to it, shall we?

The kiosks, as you may have already guessed, are the very next thing you'll see.  These are in every pod.

As I said before, no orders are allowed in the "Barney" pods (hygiene items can finally be ordered in Barney land 2, but these won't be delivered to you until you reach your last pod, on whatever day your commissary is re-delivered).  If you are finally in your home pod, you can now order whatever you want; and yet, just like everything else in Polk County, nothing is ever that simple.

1.  Pod deliveries are once a week; orders for any pod are to be completed no later than 7 a.m. on Friday morning.  This is a major inconvenience for those pods who receive their orders every Thursday, in particular, for those that are just arriving.  These folks will wait a total of almost 3 full weeks for their first order to be delivered, if you include their time spent in the "fishbowls" and the "Barneys".  For you hygiene fanatics, that's 3 whole weeks without real soap or shampoo, a comb or a brush, tampons, lotion, deodorant or a contact lens holder.  For you letter writers, or those of you that choose to represent yourselves in your cases, that's 3 whole weeks with no eraser or envelopes.

2.  Prices to buy things on commissary are, for lack of a better term, OUTRAGEOUS.  A Cup O' Soup that you can still find in most grocery stores for 30 cents is $1.27.  Suave shampoo, the size you can still get at Walgreens for $.99?  $5.00.  Hard candy that you can still pick up most places for $.59 a bag, or 2 for a $1?  $1.44 each bag.  An off-brand deck of cards, that with normal use is likely to fall apart on you in a week or possibly less?  $2.08.  A contact lens holder for soft lenses is $7.97 (hard contacts will be taken from you, because they could be used to cut people (???)).  An UNO deck is $18.  Probably the largest and most atrocious gouge of them all, however, is an all digital AM/FM radio that only gets reception in around half of the pod, that you are more than likely still able to pick up at Wal-Mart or the Dollar Store for $10 or less?  $45.99.  To add insult to that injury, the two AAA batteries that power this radio, that are guaranteed to die on you before the week is out, that you can get at the Dollar Tree for $1?  $2.82 for 2.

Along the left side of the pod (if the kiosks are along the right) is a line of 8-4 man cells on a lower and upper level.  In these cells (that measure all of 13'x7') are 2 sets of bunk-beds.  Disability is about the only guarantee that you'll get a bottom bunk; not even old age is an excuse, so you won't have to hike up the one-step ladder that even 20-year-olds have a problem climbing.  At the end of your bunk or in a bag on the floor (that also has to hold your commissary items AND your dirty laundry) are the only two options for somewhere to place what little things you have, or are allowed.  pictures (you're allowed to have 5 total that can be no bigger than 4"x6") can be "hung" on the wall by your bed (yet no scotch tape is allowed.  You'll have to peel stickers off of bottles of your own shampoo or lotion, or save the caps off of milk containers for the AE stickers off the top of the caps, or used toothpaste to stick them up).  All of your things and your pictures must be taken down and packed into your laundry bag once a week on Wednesday (inspection day) for 15 minutes, then you have to unpack them and put it all back after that.

Towards the front door of the pod, on each level, are 4 shaving-style sinks, and 4 toilets.  Two toilets are on the side of the sinks (with mirrors located well above the sinks for better penis inspection while you're shaving and they're peeing) are for #1 business (standing), and two, on the other side of a full wall are for #2 (sitting) business.  Also on the upper level is a large metal sink.  This sink, for the lower level, is placed over by the shower area, and where it should be on the lower level is a small enclosed one-man cell called 'The Blue Room", to be used at the C.O.'s discretion, for those more troublesome inmates to be housed, if they're being unruly.

There are NO privacy walls in front of or between toilets (save a 3' high wall between both sets of the #1 and #2 toilets themselves); so tinkles of #1 business and the smells of all #2 business is shared with the entire pod, without mercy.  Another fun thing about the #1 toities:  Imagine that cleaning the toilets at home (the toilets in the Jail have no lids by the way...for either #1 or #2 business) was left up to your husband.  Now imagine what those toilets would look like after a month's time.  That's what the #1 business toilets look like every single day at the Polk County Jail.  Award Winning Jail my butt.

Along the opposite wall (where the kiosks are), around half-way up the pod is a 20'x20' TV room, in a depressed area behind the main hall (which measures 24'x94').  Here, you have a 22" TV on the wall that gets 19 approved channels.  There's another one that is placed high above the door to the exercise room, located on the end of the main hall (we're coming to this soon), that you cannot hear unless you're able to afford that $46 AM/FM radio we discussed earlier; or if you're lucky enough to have the sub-titles on.  The chances of you getting to watch something you enjoy watching is around 1 in 10 if you have a radio, and about 1 in 20 if you don't.  There are only 15 or so chairs in the TV room of any one pod, so if something is on that everyone wants to watch (like the Friday or the Saturday night movie), you might end up watching it on the floor...or be out of luck altogether.

Located in front of the all-windowed wall of the TV room is the C.O.'s desk, cramped as close as is possible in front of the T.V. room as possible, for maximum cell viewing.  The C.O. faces the cells, with a computer screen in front of him (which seems to be always on Facebook).  To his right, screwed tightly onto one upper ledge of the desk, is a single cheap, hand-crank-style pencil sharpener, often in poor to as much as completely non-working condition.  The C.O. is only allowed to issue out these items:

Contraband Items

One fingernail clipper, un-sanitized/un-sterilized.  Can be issued at anytime upon request, but if not returned immediately, a search will immediately ensue.  This is because these clippers are also used to give other inmates hair/beard cuts, because not everyone is wealthy enough to afford $14 hair cuts.  HEALTH RISK ALERT:  Hepatitis.

Black Rubber stretch gloves.  The C.O. uses these gloves to handle food trays, used razors, and to (diligently, and sometimes criminally) search inmates when they are coming into and going out of the pods.  These are only given to inmates once a week on inspection day for cleaning; and only with the close supervision of the C.O., as to whom is in possession of them.  He will keep track of who has them until they are disposed of in his personal garbage.  These are considered contraband because of the string in the bottom of the gloves, and because the rubber portion of them is used to make handballs (God forbid any inmate should have any fun, or get any exercise).  Once, I was almost placed in solitary (the SHU, Special Housing Unit) because I asked for a pair of these gloves with which to clean our pod toilets...no kidding.  Another thing, even if you're leaving the jail?  They still search you, still cuff and chain you up...like you're going to take something of theirs out of the jail, or like you're going to do something to them at the moment you're being let out.  Unbelievable.

Cloth cleaning towels

Razors (only allowed you between 5:30-6:00 a.m.)

The non-contraband items the C.O. can issue to you are toilet paper rolls, paper towels, a toothbrush or toothpaste (and only between 6:30-7:30 a.m.), pencils, and jail paper.

Further on down the way is the 19'x10' shower area, indented into the wall, like the TV room is.  This area, like the toilets, isn't walled off over 5' high, and visibility of the men in it taking showers is around 80 percent or better...depending on the price of your rail position ticket.  A camera is placed right above it along the wall next to the shower, so the C.O.'s can also check you out (and supposedly watch to make sure you aren't being sexually molested in  the shower...like anyone could pull this off in such a small space, and with the walls being as low as they are.

Speaking of cameras, there are three, all-told, per pod.  One was just mentioned, one is in the exercise room, and one is by the very front of the pod, by the door.

By the way, if something of the jails' were to come up missing, or if something of theirs disappears that they don't want you to have (whether it's worth 25 cents or 25 dollars doesn't really matter) the staff on duty will turn the place upside down and run both the security videos back to find out who has it, and punish them (I saw them do this twice, once for a tray of their crummy food, and once for a bottle of hand sanitizer).  However, should someone steal your $100 commissary bag, the C.O.'s on duty will shrug their shoulders and state that it's your responsibility to watch your own things, even when you're asleep or not in the pod.  'Magine that.

Finally, at the far end of the pod, there is the Exercise Room, which measures close to 25'x28'...and is completely empty.  There are two windows (that are too high to see out of) where, on a sunny day, you MIGHT be able to enjoy an entire hour of fractured sunlight a day.  There is a single window of two that can be opened for fresh air...but only if you beg enough, and only if it's not too hot or cold.  You are never allowed outside for any reason at the Polk County Jail, even if you're in there for over a year.

The entire size of the pod's common area?  25'x94' (sans the TV room, the exercise room and the shower area).  The entire size of the pod, where you're crammed in with up to 64 cantankerous volatile powder-keg-type inmates, and 1 more than likely irritable trigger happy C.O.?  A whopping 58'x94'.

 As promised earlier, the differences between the Barney pods and your forever pod:

1.  Barney pods usually don't have more than 40 inmates in them at any given time.  Home pods generally have 55-64 inmates in them at ALL times.

2.  All commissary can now be ordered and delivered to you.

3.  The appearance of inmates wearing orange and white stripes.

4.  15 more cable stations to watch on TV

5.  You can now safely unpack all ten of your belongings and keep them out, unless:

a.  You get in an argument or a fight with someone and are either placed in the "hole" (The SHU); after which you have to endure the Barney Land pods again to get back to a real home,

b.  Someone doesn't like you (or you don't like them) and they (or you) "kite" you out to another pod (we'll discuss kites in part B of this series).

We'll stop here for now, OK?  When we return in July, we'll discuss a day in the life of our PCJ inmates.

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Well?  In case you hadn't already heard (or figured it out on your own), July 4th, Independence Day, is also MY independence day.  That means, of course, that I'm going to TRY their probation.  Of course, you and I both know it won't last, but I'm willing to give it the ol' college try.  If nothing else, I'll get a nice little vacation in before they "violate" me, more than likely.